I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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