So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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