look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
