did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
