Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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