i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize