u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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