hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
