I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
