You surviving the open bar?
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why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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