Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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