Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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