The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
