i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
