Your dad touched me again.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
