glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
