Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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