What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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