i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
