Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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