Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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