just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize