is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
