Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
