i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks