Cold hands, warm shart.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay