How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
