I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
