i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
