just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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