How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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