That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
