we're blogging at a bar
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
