Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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