I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You are the jesus of drinking
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
