i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
