my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
