The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
