I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
