I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
