You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
