once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
