I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I love you. Go after that dick
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
