Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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