Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
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If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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