I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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