Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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