if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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