garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My room smells like vodka and shame
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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