Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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