i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your penis caused this!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
