Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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