Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
