Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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