Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
