And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
