her vagine was all disorganized.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
