at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize