I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My feet surprised me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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