At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
