White coat. Heels.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
