my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
