Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
