he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
