I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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