he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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