ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
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we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
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You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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