I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
