my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
